Goodbye Boobs, Hello Recovery

Now that I’m two weeks recovered from my surgery and I’m on a lot less pain killers, I think now is a great time to document my surgery and draw some attention to how shitty Ontario healthcare has gotten.

Thursday: Surgery Day

Matt and I woke up and were at Juravinski for 6am to meet Brittany. We then got registered, provided insurance info for my recovery room and then went to pre-op to get changed and sorted. While sitting in pre-op, the nurse mentioned there was some confusion as to where I was staying since they normally like this to be a DAY SURGERY (wild!) I showed her our accommodation papers from registration and we got ready to go in. Leaving to walk into surgery was no fun, mostly because I still felt a bit uneasy with it all. That said, I remembered my surgery rules from Britt and made sure to personally thank each OR staff member and wish them a good day before they started hacking into me. The nurses and care team were fantastic when I was in the OR and my doctors are clearly some of the best.

During my surgery, they successfully removed both my implants, all my breast tissue, and the lymph nodes under my left arm. Luckily, they did that all with only 2 incisions and I now have 2 drains in at my ribs. The fact that they are able to do this so easily is mind boggling! I feel very lucky that I live somewhere where this is even an option. All the samples of tissue have also been sent for pathology so we’ll know in a few weeks how well the chemo worked and what the risk looks like for recurrence or remission.

Thursday: Recovery

Once I was in the post-op area (around noon), I started asking for Matt and Britt. I was told a number of times that we just had to wait until my pain meds were under control and then I would be wheeled into recovery for the day, before sleeping in post-op since there were no beds. While I was waiting, they then told me there were no spaces in recovery either, so I would be spending my full time in the hospital in the post-op area and I would be allowed zero visitors or support people since it’s the post-op area.

Not going to lie, that did not go over well. I had just had a huge life changing surgery where they amputated my breasts and then they wanted to leave me with no emotional support for at least 24 hours before sending me home. I cried, I argued, and I apologized profusely to the nurses, because I know it’s not their fault, and eventually, they let Matt and Britt visit me for no more than 10 minutes. I was still angry and sad, and felt so god damn lonely. I spent the rest of the day alone in a fog of heavy pain meds. I sent Matt home to check on the kids and told him I’d call him back when I knew what time I could come home.

While feeling sorry for myself and trying to master the pain meds, they realized they lost my dinner, so after well over 24 hours without food, a nurse smuggled me a yogurt cup and the hope that maybe they could find me something else, but also asked if I packed anything to eat in my bags… (which I didnt have, since I didnt have a room…)

Eventually, around 9pm they finally found me a room where I would be allowed a support person (who thankfully brought me food). So they wheeled me into the busiest post-op ward I’ve ever seen. With 3 other patients and myself in the room, it was a bit of a shitshow for our poor nurse (there was only 1 of them). The neighbors down the hall kept screaming literally all night, and Matt slept on the foot of my bed with his feet on a chair.

Not the best night sleep we’ve ever had, BUT we were quickly discharged the next day and home in time to see the kids back from school.

Ongoing Recovery

Now that I am on the road to recovery, I still have a hurdles in front of me. During my surgery, they were unable to go direct to implant, so I now have an expander where each breast should be. These will be filled up a bit more each week as we stretch my pec muscles off my chest wall in order to hold new implants. Once these are to the size I want them, I then start 25 rounds of daily radiation. After radiation, I’ll enjoy a 3 month wait before I go for my replacement surgery where they will swap out the expanders for my permanent implants. This next year also includes regular herceptin infusions every 3 weeks.

The end is in sight and I’m very much looking forward to getting back to my regular life, back to fun, back to holding my kids, and even back to work. Until then, I’m just grateful for our support system and especially my mother in law, who has pretty much moved in for past 2 weeks (and we kind of hope she never leaves)