This Month Is Hard.

As most people know, it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month, this disease recently dared to call bullshit on a lot of the insecurities that I thought I beat. "It's just hair" or "at least I'll get new boobs", both things I say regularly. And while I am happy to cut out whatever part of me buys me time, there is still so much insecurity that gets brought out by this giant marketing campaign that likes to highlight the things society thinks we're saddest to lose.

FOR ME: Breast cancer is not glamorous and pink. It's not cute knitted hats and hugs sent over text message. AND It is certainly not buying the pink ribbon products that give corporations massive tax breaks in exchange for pennies to research.

The reality that I am quickly learning is that this month is hard for a lot of us. This month comes with reminders of what we've lost (and may yet stand to lose). It also tends to come with requests to share our stories for platforms that claim to care while making no real impact to the cause.

It does however, also come with hope.

Hope that with awareness, we can find more meaningful ways that support patients and survivors. Hope that eventually we will fund enough research to make all breast cancers (even the rare metaplastic ones like mine), survivable.

So this month, if you're going to actually celebrate, notice, or reflect on Breast Cancer Awareness month, all I ask is that you ask yourself if what you're doing helps a patient more than a corporation.