Onto the “New Normal”

Breast Cancer

Jun 7

It's been a while. If I'm being honest, this whole thing has been a bit of a whirlwind lately. I'm officially done all active treatment, including radiation. Though I'll be on a few drugs for at least the rest of the year. It seems over, but now in the quiet, all the struggles, trauma, and worries are slowly creeping in. Now that I have the time to actually rest without being in fight or flight, it seems a bit heavier than normal, which is weird for me because I normally manage just fine. That said, in the past year and a half, I've had a baby, 8 rounds of chemo, a double mastectomy, 28 rounds of radiation, a custody hearing, attended a criminal hearing and read out my victim impact statement, then also started a new job… so I mean, there's been just a bit more on the plate than usual.

We're working through it. Little bit by little bit. Back in the gym. Back to work. Trying to reclaim my body, my health, my appearance and then being thrown for a loop with side effects and complications.

My drugs give me nose bleeds, and my bruises don't clot. My eyesight is getting worse and I have the liver of a middle aged alcoholic man. BUT my hair's growing back, my barbie boobs are almost balanced out and I'm back on the yoga mat and working on my shoulder mobility.

My children are happy and flourishing, my partner remains the absolute rock solid foundation of this house, and I just have to take my time and focus on figuring out this new life.

While we're navigating this new normal, I'm working hard at accepting my new normal. I may need to work harder for things that I had come easily before. We may need to work some overtime and stay focused on the future we want to build. It's a motivating thing to have been given the opportunity to move forward. This life is an absolute privilege and while I still get frustrated and discouraged, I'm a very lucky human.

This week, I heard a cool quote in one of my gym compilations: